Some weeks nobody can get to the kitchen table. Somebody’s traveling, somebody has a kid’s game, somebody’s working late. If your group only meets when everyone can be in the same room, it will quietly stop meeting. So here is an accountability group format that fits in half an hour on a video call, taken from Chapter 10 of Giving Account.
The shape is simple: each man gives his account, and the next man in the circle answers it. Five men can cover the essentials in thirty minutes.
The shape of the call
Here is how the book describes it. Each man takes two or three minutes to go through his four questions. When he finishes, the next man in the circle responds. He asks the follow-up, says what he sees, pushes back if something sounds thin, and then prays for him by name. Then that man gives his own account, and the man after him responds. It goes around the circle until the first man answers the last.
Each turn takes five or six minutes. On the clock, for five men, it looks like this:
- Minute 0. The first man gives his account.
- Minute 3. The second man responds to him and prays. At minute 6, he gives his own account.
- Minute 9. The third man responds to the second, then gives his own.
- Minutes 15 and 21. The fourth and fifth men do the same.
- Minute 27. The first man responds to the fifth and prays. The circle is closed.
If your group is bigger than five, don’t stretch the call. Split into smaller circles right away. As the book puts it, “Thirty minutes of real accounts beats ninety minutes where half the men never get a turn.”
Before the call: write your four lines
The call only works if men show up with their report already written. There isn’t time to figure it out live. Before you dial in, answer the four questions from the Weekly Self-Report:
- What happened this week?
- Where was I tempted?
- What did I actually do?
- What do I need?
Keep it short and factual. Choices, not outcomes. Every verb belongs to you. Two or three minutes is plenty if you’ve written it down. It’s not nearly enough if you haven’t.
The account: two or three minutes, uninterrupted
When it’s your turn, read your lines. Nobody interrupts until you’re done. Don’t open with small talk about the week, and don’t warm up with context. The first thing out of your mouth should be your first line.
This is also why the call runs in a fixed order instead of waiting for volunteers. On a video call, the pause before someone speaks is long and awkward, and it’s easy for a man to let everyone else go first and then watch the clock run out. In a circle, nobody gets to run out the clock.
The response: about three minutes
This is the part of the format that makes it more than five men reading reports at each other. One man is responsible for receiving each account, and he has about three minutes. That’s enough for three things.
One follow-up question. A question that receives what was said and goes deeper, not one that extracts. Start with something he told you: “You said it happened Wednesday. What was going on in the hours before?” Or, “Is that the whole account, or the part that was easiest to say?” There’s a longer list in Questions to Ask an Accountability Partner.
One true thing. Say what you see from outside. Sometimes that’s comfort. Sometimes it’s a push: “You’ve reported this three weeks running.” If something sounded thin, say so. That’s the refusal to flatter, and a short call is no excuse to skip it.
A short prayer by name. Pray specifically about what he reported. The prayer is the proof that the account was heard.
Then give your own account, and the next man takes his turn with you.
Why one responder instead of everyone
In a living room, the whole group can respond to each account, and the book’s longer gathering is built that way. On a call, that falls apart fast. Men talk over each other, or nobody talks at all. Handing each account to one responder solves both problems. Everyone knows whose turn it is to listen.
It also spreads the work. Every man gives an account and every man receives one. Nobody is the leader who asks all the questions and never reports. And because each man knows before the call starts whose account he’s there to receive, he can listen for it instead of waiting for his own turn.
When a turn reveals a fall
Sometimes a man will report a real fall on a thirty-minute call. Don’t let the clock win. The responder does what Chapter 10 describes: let him finish, thank him for telling the truth, ask the question, tell him what you see, and remind him of the gospel (Romans 8:1). Then, before moving on, settle one thing: who is calling him this week, and when. The longer conversation can happen then. The half hour stays intact, and he doesn’t carry it alone until the next call.
Between calls
The call works best alongside something else. Chapter 10 describes accounts given between gatherings. My own group keeps a Slack channel, and a group text works just as well. Any man can post an account whenever he wants. Nobody is required to post, and nobody is checking. The covenant covers the channel just as it covers the room. And a man who already reported on Wednesday shows up to the call with nothing hidden.
If a man misses two calls in a row, or his four lines start to go quiet, somebody should call him that week, alone. That’s part of the covenant too.
Try it for a month
If your group has been meeting less and less because the calendar won’t cooperate, try the thirty-minute call for four weeks. Same day, same time, same order. (The Chapter 10 companion sketches another way to divide the half hour if the round-robin doesn’t suit your group.) For the full in-person gathering and a ten-week plan, the free Leader’s Guide has it all on one printable page. And the reasons behind every piece of the format are in Giving Account.