This morning, a fellow blogger sent out a missive declaring his best intentions to reignite his blogging fervor and commit to weekly postings. This, of course, reminded me that I am not turning my best intention of blogging thrice weekly into even a meager reality of once monthly.
So, I sent a Hangout to my friend asking if he wanted to hold each other loosely accountable to blogging weekly.
In my world, ‘accountability partner’ is a throwback term from the evangelical ghetto of the 90‘s where man after man would hold each other accountable to do or not do various things. It was a really a guilt-ridden response to their hidden porn problems, but I digress. Accountable relationships rarely worked in the realm of long-term moral change, because moralism supported by external structures rarely (if ever) works for the long haul.
But ‘accountability’ does work sometimes, so I thought I’d explore that a bit as it relates to our desire to live impactful bi-vocational lives. Here are my 3 best practices for useful accountability.
First, don’t ask someone to help you do something that you don’t really want to do. If you are asking someone to help you do something you think you ‘ought’ to do or ‘should’ do, then you will fail. You must really ‘want’ to change something. Jesus once asked a most profound question to a sick man – ‘Do you want to get well?’ There must be an inner desire to really change, so don’t ask for help until you have committed to a course of action in your own heart.
Second, make sure the thing you want to change is deeply tied to your God-given missions and God-given vision. This is an exciting step, because it forces us to come to clarity about those missions and that vision. When we are pursuing a God-initiated calling, then we have divine assistance in our own transformation towards that calling. It isn’t external moralism that is controlling us at that point, but rather inner transformation of character. From a Christian perspective, it is Jesus working through me over against striving by my own strength.
Since you are reading this blog, you have already established that you want to succeed at both your vocation and your avocational mission and home life. If you tie your intentions for change to these things, it it a good indicator that you really want to change since you’ve dedicated so much of your life to these things, and you certainly want to optimize them. My desire to blog flows from God’s call on my life to teach. My desire to build a platform that I can monetize flows from my call to do bi-vocational ministry without financial burden on those I am trying to help or lead.
Finally, ask for encouragement to turn your intentions into reality. The metaphors that you should establish are more along the lines of ‘watering a seed until it flourishes’ or ‘cheering on until the finish’ instead of ‘yelling at you if you don’t perform properly.’ Watering a seed is a great metaphor because your ‘accountability friend’ is simply trying to nurture what is already growing from the a very organic place. Nothing artificial here. Nothing externally imposed. There is not guilt language or performance language tied to the success of the task, and responsibility for success remains with you instead of your partner.
I hope these 3 tips are useful. I can already think of several more that I’ll likely blog about in the future, but for now: What tips would you add to the list in regards to accountability and goal achievement?
My Comments Policy
As you know, Web 2.0 is all about the conversation. But without a few simple ground rules, that conversation can turn into a shouting match that discourages others from entering into the fray.
So here is my comments policy. By posting on my blog, you agree to the following:
You may comment without registering. You can log-in via Disqus, OpenID, Twitter, Facebook—or not at all. It’s up to you.
You may post anonymously. I don’t recommend this, but you may do so if you wish. I may change this rule if it is abused.
You may post follow-up questions. If you have a question, chances are you are not alone. Others are likely thinking similarly. Therefore, I would rather receive your comments on my blog than via email. It is a better use of my time to address everyone at once rather than answer several similar emails.
You may disagree with me. I welcome debate. However, I ask that if you disagree with me—or anyone else, for that matter—do so in a way that is respectful. In my opinion, there is way too much shouting in the public square to tolerate it here.
I reserve the right to delete your comments. This is my blog. I don’t have an obligation to publish your comments. The First Amendment gives you the right to express your opinions on your blog not mine.
Specifically, I will delete your comments if you post something that is, in my sole opinion, (a) snarky; (b) off-topic; (c) libelous, defamatory, abusive, harassing, threatening, profane, pornographic, offensive, false, misleading, or which otherwise violates or encourages others to violate my sense of decorum and civility or any law, including intellectual property laws; or (d) “spam,” i.e., an attempt to advertise, solicit, or otherwise promote goods and services. You may, however, post a link to your site or your most recent blog post.
You retain ownership of your comments. I do not own them and I expressly disclaim any and all liability that may result from them. By commenting on my site, you agree that you retain all ownership rights in what you post here and that you will relieve me from any and all liability that may result from those postings.
You grant me a license to post your comments. This license is worldwide, irrevocable, non-exclusive, and royalty-free. You grant me the right to store, use, transmit, display, publish, reproduce, and distribute your comments in any format, including but not limited to a blog, in a book, a video, or presentation.
In short, my goal is to host interesting conversations with caring, honest, and respectful people. I believe this simple comments policy will facilitate this.
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